Sunday, January 22, 2012

Feedback, por favor?

I saw this photo about a week ago and it inspired me to start writing. I have no clue what it'll end up being, I'm just writing for now. I don't have much yet, but it's still a major work in progress. There are probably a number of mistakes at the moment, but try to overlook them. Some feedback (and maybe a title?) would be greatly appreciated. (:

The Castle of Auriola. A beautiful golden palace, as the meaning of the name suggests. It sits on a rock near the edge of a waterfall in the river Lacrimas, with a bridge on either side. The bridges no longer have a purpose, besides acting as “accessories” to the castle. They both have collapsed about half a mile from the outer lands, their former destination. There are also two gardens adorning the north and south ends of the castle, the Northern one being the most magnificent, and the Southern one preferred for viewing the dazzling sunsets.
The spray of the mineral-rich water falls most heavily on the Northern Gardens, making them one of the most beautiful things in the kingdom, the only beautiful thing to me. Most people consider the castle to be the most beautiful thing in all of the land, but I view it as a prison. I’ve been stuck here all of my life-my parents orders. They say that the world beyond the castle is dangerous, no place for a princess. But I simply cannot stay here for the rest of my life, I’ll go insane. I know there is more to the outside world than just “dangerous”, there has to be. 


  1. The second paragraph is very good. You have captured my interest with it. Your first paragraph feels like you are trying too hard to be a "writer", don't try so hard, just write. Trust your talent, for talented you are.

    As for titles, you are on your own.

  2. Ohh this seems like a very good start. Good premise for a story! Love! Keep writing more! I love to write too. One very helpful tip, I was given––when you sit down to write-just keep writing and don't stop to nit pick at right verbage, sequence etc, just write! And keep on writing. Then go back and edit it etc a bit later. Don't stop the flow.

    Good luck and will look forward to more at some point! Also, fantastical picture :))) Double love!


  3. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. (: