Wednesday, August 27, 2014


1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain,    etc., whether the  threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. (

2. Missing the last step on a staircase. Leaning too far back in your chair. Spiders. Horror movies. Rollercoasters. Bolting up the stairs after turning the light off. That one nightmare you keep having. Darkness. A shadow dancing just out of sight. Forgetting how to breathe. Disease. Feeling fine, but knowing you must be dying. "It's cancer." Remembering how to breathe, but your lungs won't hold enough air. Death. Seeing someone about to give up a fight. Shaking hands, breath, and voice. "She's gone." The feeling you get at night when you have no one to wear your mask for and you realize that you are alone.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

part 1

    His eyes flash with anger, "You don't don't know! So much has happened to me, I-I've done so much to myself! I have a right to be angry!"
    "Of course you don't." She replies curtly.
    He stomps towards her. She glances down; both of his fists are clenched, knuckles white. He stops, just a few inches before her face. "Really? I don't?" he puffs up his chest. There is fire in his eyes.
    But her icy stare extinguishes the flames. She is obviously not intimidated. He deflates. His fists unclench; his face relaxes. A sad, almost vulnerable demeanor washes over him.
    " j-just hurts so much sometimes..." he says, his voice shaking. He looks up, eyes brimming with tears, and is met with her unchanging cold stare. He blinks the tears away angrily, trying to will the fiery rage to return; he feels nothing. He turns and walks slowly to the corner. He slides down the wall and buries his face in his hands.
    Silence, for what seems like ages. Then, she walks over to his corner; she slides down the wall next to him. She looks at her hands for a moment, then blankly across the room. She speaks, her words like an icy wind, piercing all of his exposed, vulnerable parts.
    "Pain can make you selfish. Pain can make you a coward. Pain can make you mean. Pain can make you bitter. Pain can make you hardhearted. Pain can make you numb. Pain can make you broken."
    She shifts around uncomfortably, clears her throat, and looks down. Her voice changes, the coldness melting away.
    "But...pain can also make you selfless. Pain can make you brave; pain can make you kind and grateful and softhearted and compassionate and...and pain can make you healed."
    He looks over at her. Did he hear...emotion in her voice? She raises her eyes to meet his. There are tears streaming slowly down her cheeks.
    "It sounds like you know a lot about this kind of stuff..." he says slowly, softly.
"Yeah," she lets a quiet, sarcastic laugh escape, "unfortunately I do."
    He takes a strand of her soft chestnut hair and rubs it gently between his thumb and forefinger, "Do you...speak from experience?" he asks carefully, looking up at her. He knows the answer.
    She looks down again, trying to fight back tears. Unable to speak, she nods slowly.
    He wraps her in his arms. "I'm sorry, I am so so sorry..." he chokes out, stroking her hair gently.

 "I forgive you," she whispers.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A Dreadful Case of Wanderlust

  I want to adventure. I don't just want it, actually. I crave it, I desire it, and for the sake of my sanity, I need it. In a world like this, no human on earth has the right to be "bored". I want to travel the beautiful world and experience everything it has to offer. I want to do crazy things with amazing people. 
   This world contains so much, why would it even be logical to follow a mold, to stay in one place and do one average thing you're "supposed" to do? I don't want normal, boring, average, or "supposed to".
   But how do I get out there? How do I travel and adventure and meet amazing people? I want to experience and do things to where I could tell my stories a million times before anyone believed them. I don't want to just "get through" life, I want to live it. I don't want to get to the end of it and have nothing to say except, “I wish I had...". 
   I know you must “sail away from the safe harbor” to know adventure, but I don't even know if I've made it to the harbor yet. Do we all start at the harbor, and then are we left with the decision to sail or to be safe? 
   I want and desire adventure so much; it seems so beautiful and lovely. But it is also confusing to me. Maybe there are things I must learn before I can adventure...but I thought that's what adventure is about, learning things along the way...

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Books are Nothing

Now, hold on. I imagine you either just shouted "BLASPHEMY!" or almost physically attacked your computer for even allowing those words to appear on your screen (unless you don't like which case, BLASPHEMY!). Trust me, I thought the same thing when the idea first popped into my head. After I finished arguing with myself (no, we're *ahem* I'm not crazy), I finally understood, so just hear me out.

Books are really only words printed on paper and bound; books don't mean or do anything. Until someone picks it up, reads it, and experiences it. Until that moment when a reader connects with what the author was trying to convey or when they come up with an interpretation of their own, books are useless.
Imagine a world where there were authors, but no readers. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Without one, the other doesn't exist. This applies even if there are authors and readers. If neither party is willing to have an open mind to hear what each other has to say, then no one has gained anything.

Books are meant to change lives, but there's more to it than that. They are meant to end old, dull ones and inspire new, exciting ones filled with adventure and absolutely anything imaginable. Books are meant to take away your worldly problems and take you to a whole new world where they don't even exist. Books can teach us lessons that nothing else can. With books, we can fall in love, get heartbroken, die and come back to life, go on crazy, unbelievable adventures, and meet many amazing people (or creatures) along the way.

But books can only do all of these things if they are read and felt. So go, read. Bring a book to life.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Dandelion Waterfall

I took this picture a while back. I didn't touch it or anything, I just found it this way. Why am I posting a random picture of a dandelion? I might be having trouble writing...

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Dialogue in the Dark

I've been meaning to write this for a while since it's been, I don't know...three weeks since the field trip? But oh well, I'm doing it now!

So, some time ago, I went on a field trip with my school to Dialogue in the Dark and the Bodies Exhibit. I believe that Bodies is more well-known, but if you don't know what it is, click here. It was cool and all, kinda creepy, but it didn't have much impact on me. I can honestly say that I will never forget Dialogue in the Dark though.

Dialogue in the Dark was amazing. Basically, you're put into a group of about nine people, you get canes, then you go into a room with glowing chair things. Then, the glow slowly fades and you're left in total darkness. Like, I-can't-see-my-hand-in-front-of-my-face total darkness. I was completely freaked out before the lights went dim, but once it was dark, I was completely calm. I actually started laughing. After a few seconds in complete darkness, you hear a voice. It's the voice of the person who will lead you through the different levels. Your guide is either mostly or completely blind. You don't get to see them until the end. 

There are five levels, normal, everyday places. A park, a food market, a city, a boat, and a cafe. Your guide will ask you questions throughout the experience. They may ask you to find or identify something, or to help the person behind you. You are constantly encouraged to speak up; call out someone's name, announce when you've found something, speaking is what makes this experience successful. Once you and your group make it to the cafe, everyone sits down and you have the chance to ask your guide any questions you may have (and yes, it's still dark). You can literally ask them anything, how they became blind, how they feel about it, anything. 

After the group discussion, you exit and get to finally see your guide. This was my favorite part. After being with someone for 45 minutes, relying on them to guide you, then learning about there life, you form an image of them in your mind. When you get to see them, they probably won't look like you had them imagined. But you don't care at all, you just know them based on their personality and character. 

You get to meet and know and trust someone without even having the opportunity to judge them based on how they look. That was truly amazing to me. It made me realize how quickly and harshly we humans judge each other based solely on our outward appearance. I really we wish we could meet every person we come in contact with in the dark, then we could really get to know them without judgement getting in the way.

Click here to go to the Dialogue in the Dark website.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Feedback, por favor?

I saw this photo about a week ago and it inspired me to start writing. I have no clue what it'll end up being, I'm just writing for now. I don't have much yet, but it's still a major work in progress. There are probably a number of mistakes at the moment, but try to overlook them. Some feedback (and maybe a title?) would be greatly appreciated. (:

The Castle of Auriola. A beautiful golden palace, as the meaning of the name suggests. It sits on a rock near the edge of a waterfall in the river Lacrimas, with a bridge on either side. The bridges no longer have a purpose, besides acting as “accessories” to the castle. They both have collapsed about half a mile from the outer lands, their former destination. There are also two gardens adorning the north and south ends of the castle, the Northern one being the most magnificent, and the Southern one preferred for viewing the dazzling sunsets.
The spray of the mineral-rich water falls most heavily on the Northern Gardens, making them one of the most beautiful things in the kingdom, the only beautiful thing to me. Most people consider the castle to be the most beautiful thing in all of the land, but I view it as a prison. I’ve been stuck here all of my life-my parents orders. They say that the world beyond the castle is dangerous, no place for a princess. But I simply cannot stay here for the rest of my life, I’ll go insane. I know there is more to the outside world than just “dangerous”, there has to be.